Planning
Last night I had high aspirations; Clean room, clean laundry, clean kitchen, run; clean self. I walked towards home with a sense of purpose. I was going to wash away the day. I was going to start fresh. Once home, He sat on the couch, and beckoned to me. I tried to resist. I tried to take a right towards the kitchen, but I walked the straight line towards Him. Once there, I felt the day begin to fall off. I looked ahead at the kitchen. I commented on my underwear situation: I was down to swim suite bottoms. I mentioned a trip to the grocery store. We could stock up on fresh fruits and veggies, and make magnificent meals. I expressed my desire to run. To release al the energy that only hours of sitting can accumulate. He met all my desires with gentle nods or sounds of approval. He then asked me if I wanted Thai food for dinner, and just like that I pushed all my plans aside because the thought of the delicious flavors that could soon be mine, overpowered everything else. We walked out the door, and I never looked back. Today, I will make new plans.
Ferris Plock: Just for One Day
Shooting Gallery, SF
Laila Bahman = The Good Spice in the Mix
Hope
Hope is a terrifying idea. It is not faith because faith is a belief that something will be, while hope is the desired expectation of an outcome. It is a very different thing to have faith in heaven than to hope that there is such a place. Hope allows room for doubt. Faith does not. As someone with no faith, I find myself often hoping. In the face of hard decisions, I hope I make the right one. In my mind, no super human guiding force gives me the faith that I chose the right path. Rather than pray when a loved one falls ill, I hope that they recover. Hope is the knowledge that you are powerless, and that the universe will do as it pleases, and all you can do is hope that its actions are pleasing.
It was a beautiful day.
